Good intentions

I keep telling myself that I will post regularly but things (life) just seems to get in the way.  Is that the way with our relationship with God sometimes.  I let other things get in the way.  Yes, they are good things, they can even be things I know God wants me to do.  However, he also desires for me to spend time with him alone. 
Today as I sat knitting I was reminded again that when I follow the pattern things go so well and the piece looks like it was designed to look.  However, when I don't keep my attention focused on the pattern the work does not go well and the piece does not turn out.  Same thing with following God's instructions/pattern.  I also realized that at times he wants me to just spend time alone with him studying, praying, listening and RESTING.  I can allow myself to get to busy with life that I forget to just take time to rest in God's presence. 
I have also been struggling with the issue of waiting upon the Lord.  By that I mean being patient and waiting for God's answer in God's time.  I am preparing for WLS and everything has come down to one last item from my primary care physician in order for the Bariatric Surgeon to schedule the surgery.  I keep getting impatient with my PCP because I want her to hurry up and write the document and fax it to the surgeon's office.  I have to remind myself that I am not her only patient and this will happen on her time schedule and God's which isn't always as fast as mine.
The other thing on my mind recently has been that God does not answer "Maybe".  His answer is either "yes, no, or wait" but it is never "maybe".  He does not say "well maybe I'll let you do that even though I know it is the wrong choice."  He also does not say "well maybe I'll have you serve in a foriegn mission field".  He gives us a clear calling and clear answers.   I however, don't always listen or chose to accept his answer.  I keep trying to turn a "no" into a "yes" and a "wait" into a "yes, now".  When I do that I am unhappy and things do not go well.  I become anxious, angry, irritable, and unfortunately those around me often suffer.
Lord, today my prayer is that you help me to hear your answers clearly and accept the "no's" and "waits" as readily as I do the "yeses".  Help me to keep my attention on your pattern for my life and to follow your instructions.  Relieve me of my selfishness and self-centeredness.  In Jesus name I pray.  Amen.

A Much Better Week

Although I am still missing my old clown dog, I had a very productive weekend.   I am looking forward to a much better week.  Tomorrow I have my visit with my primary care physician to get my medical clearance for bariatric surgery.  Over the weekend I finished a crocheted cotton Empire top, my first serious cable project, and learned to make socks.  The cable project is a purse.  I used some fat quarters I got a Hobby Lobby to make the lining and added some studs from my Beadazzler.  The socks took so long to figure out because it took me a while to locate a website that explained that knitting in the round is a little different from flat knitting.  With knitting in the round to make sockinette stitching and garter stitching you do just the opposite of what you do for flat knitting.  It made me think of the fact that although there are several good theologians and preachers whose sermans can be found on the good Christian websites, there are also those who are not completely Biblical.  Several are what are commonly called Good New/Prosperity Evangelists.  You have to find the complete instructions and for that the website is the Bible.  Only by studying the Bible in its entirity can you learn what you really need to have your life knit together as God intends.  By that I don't mean that you must read the whole Bible every time you hear something but that you must read the full passage and take it in context.  It is also very helpful if you can also study the Bible with a few reliable teachers, in a group so that you are not basing your understanding on your own interpretation.  Then you are more apt to grasp the full content of God's message (his instructions).  Like the socks, when I do that things flow so easily.  However, when I don't I struggle.  With the socks that means I have to unravel stitches and sometimes rows and start over.  With my live, I go through periods when things are just not right and again I struggle with doubts, irritability, fear, etc.
I also read a really wonderful devotational this morning that came in my email.  It talked about how sometimes we just need to sit in silence with God.  This is a skill that has taken a long time for me to acquire but one that every time I will slow down long enough to do it, brings rewards. 
Therefore, my prayer today is that I will spend time in God's Word learning his instructions for my life but that I will also spend some time just being silent before him as a form of prayer and a sign of my obedience.

Sad weekend

It has been a very sad weekend around my house.  Sunday morning when I got up to go to church I discovered our old dachsund/beagle mix Doodle Bug had died during the night.  So instead of going to church I took a trip to the emergency clinic to have them take care of the body.  He will be very sorely missed.  He brought us so much joy and laughter.  He truely was our little fat clown dog.  Our other little dog is at a loss as she can not really understand what has happened.  She has been very quite and just follows us around from room to room.  I prefer to think that he is now in heaven making the angels laugh.  As for me every time I think of him I start crying.  I know my tears are for me and my loss because he is most certainly healthier where he is.  Some people may think it is silly to grieve the loss of a dog but they are just as much my friends as any human.