Ch. 8, 9, and 10

This week I have read three chapters. Basically because I do not want to slow down long enough to post my reflections on each chapter. This is not only true of my reading but also of my life. Things and been busy without really being hectic this week. One of the reasons is I have taken o this challenge of writing a 50,000 word novel in one month. Now I am pretty much on schedule with this writing. This are also busy at work. Plus I have wanted to finish a sweater that I have had to rework because the original was way too large. It was sort of intended to be that way but I did not like how it fit it was too loose and baggy. So all of those things have not stopped me from reading because I really enjoy this book but it has slowed down how often I post my reflections of what I have read. Therefore I am going to cram three chapters into one writing. Sort of sounds like my life again.
Ch. 8: Interesting Thing About Expectations.
The way Michelle talks about how her first shih tzu "Milan" began to expect to be allowed to sleep cuddled up next to her not just on the couch but also the bed was funny. Knowing how cute and pitiful a dog can look when they are begging for something I could almost picture this little ball of fluff and his sweet face begging to be let on the bed. I could just as easily see how once that expection was met he would quickly lose interest. I agree with Michelle this is so much like some of us humans. We beg and beg our Father God for something and then when we get it we soon lose interest. It sort of reminds me of an old Garth Brooks song "Thank God for Unanswered Prayers", in which the songwriter realizes when meeting and old girlfriend that he is so glad that God did not answer his prayers that she be his and instead made him wait for the woman that was truely the best for him. However, how human that little dog was when he just would not stop even when he proved to himself that the bed was to high from him to jump on. It is a reminder of times when I just would not take God's answer of no and just kept pushing for what I wanted. By the same token when I did ultimately get what I had presisted on it is not really all that important weeks, months now the line when the new wears off.
Michelle also talks about how expectations build in a relationship. When the relationship is new we may not expect must from the other person but as the relationship grows so do our expectations. The arguments grow as our expectations go unmet. Often we are expecting the other person to fill places that only God can. Or even worse we expect the other person to make us happy, feel pretty, give us praise, make us feel worthwhile, you get the picture. In many instances only God through his word and we ourselves can make us feel those things, can meet those expectations. When the other person fails to fulfill our expectations we feel hurt, angry, unloved, etc. I need to remember I am happier in my relationship with my husband when I expect his to only give me those things that he is capable of giving. In other words I allow him to be who he is and allow God to, or God's way to met the other expectations.
Ch. 9: The Flattery of Reflection
Michelle begins this chapter talking about how Milan is a lot like his master. Neither of them like to get up early nor do they like to get up early and go out in the cold. Another way they are alike is they want things the way they are familiar with them being. Michelle then equates this to our relationship with God. First she talks about how God wants us to be like him by being Christ like. Again she uses human tendency to reflect what God wants. She uses as her example how parents want their children to be like them. When we draw closer to God and become "little Christs", "we begin to reflefct His beauty and grace and love to others aroundus, causing them to draw close and love Him too." "And I won't mind losing myself and ooking like God because it feels so good. And that my friends, is a beautiful thing."
Ch. 10: The Secret of Conversion
In this chapter Michelle talks about how her dog, Milan, has won over people who claim they do not like dogs or are afraid of dogs. He doesn't do it by imposing himself in their space but by simply being himself and respecting their boundaries. He minds his own business and does not try to push his way into their affections. In some cases he even ignores them and does his thing. Michelle stated that it was if he could sense that the other person was afraid or did not like dogs so he avoid them, often curling up and going to sleep in his own space.
Michelle then choses this as an example of how we might want to approach converting people to God. Not by being loud, obnoxious, or pushy but by quietly reflect God's love and reflecting it's work in our lives. It is not unlike AA's principle of "attraction not promotion". AA does not have an active public relations firm touting all of it's benefits but rather lets the attraction of changed lives bring more people to AA. "Just as God woos us with His love and grace, and people are changed through a relationship, the secret to winning friends and infuencing people seems to be much more simple than we make it." She goes on to say instead of trying to strong arm others into our way of thinking we should just be ourselves and then let our behaviors attract people to our point of view. She suggests that instead of screams others get saved we need to "make a relationship with God look so good that those searching for peace and true joy will . . . get jealous of what we have and want in."
All three of these have been very good lessons for me. I got a good lesson in expectations this week. Every employee almost in th company I work for have come to expect rather generous Christmas bonuses, the largest of any company in our profession. Well this year because of the economy we are not getting a bonus. At first I was rather angry as were others but then my supervisor sort of put it into persective. A bonus is not something that is owed me for my work but rather a gift given to express appreciation for what I have done over and above what is required of me. My annual evalution was not really changed from last year even though I have been patting myself on the back for being better at my one flaw (or least in my supervisor's point of view) which is angry outbursts when I feel people are trying to take advantage (or that is how he sees it). His perception is a little different than my outlook that causes the behavior. However, the out come is the same. It puts a sense of fear in others because they fear my angry outbursts. His way of wording it also let me know he understands where I am coming from but like God he is saying I don't want you to question their actions I want you to do what I have asked you to do which is being helpful when your caseload allows you that time. I realized as we talked that I still have this sense of "fairness". I only want to help someone if they are doing what they are suppose to be doing just as I do (in my mind only). What my supervisor and God are saying is no, as a Christian you need to be bigger than that, and if you really do not have the time to help then say so in a more pleasant manner.