The Night Before Christmas
as rewritten by Sharon Abbott Cowan
Was the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Nothing was moving, not even a mouse.
On the mantle hun a sway and fairy lights strung with care,
In hopes that Santa Claus would soon be there.
The children were all tucked in their beds,
With visions of Wiis and Ipods dancing in their heads.
Ma in her Victoria Secret and I in my old flannels
Has just settled in to watch the Pay for View Channels.
When out on the lawn there came such a clatter,
I jumped out of bed to see what was the matter.
"What the h_ _l was that?", I cried.
I rushed to the window and peered outside,
The street lights on the crest of the snow
Gave an eeriy light to the scene below.
When, what to my amazed eys should appear,
But a sleigh and eight reindeer.
The little old driver was so lively and quick,
I knew in an instance that it was St. Nick.
Quick as a wind the reindeer came,
And he whistled and shouted, and called tem by name;
On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen,
On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen
To the top of the porch, to the top of the roof
Hurry up, hurry up and shake a hoof.
So up to the house-top the reindeer flew,
With that sleigh full of stuff and Santa Claus too.
And in less than a wink, I heard on the roof.
The prancing and dancing of each tiny hoof.
As I shook my head and was turning around,
Down the chimney Santa Claus came with a bound.
He was dressed all in red, from his head to his boot
And his clothes were all soiled with ashes and soot;
A bundle of electronic gadgets, he had on his back,
And he looked like a hobo just opening his pack.
His eyes they did sparkle and his dimples were merry
His cheeks were so rosy, looked like he'd been in the sherry.
His little red mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin was as white as snow.
The end of his pipe he held in his teeth,
And the smoke circled his head like a wreath.
He had a round little face and a fat belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl of jelly.
He was chubby and plumb, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink from his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon let me know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work
Placing gifts round the tree, and then turned with a jerk
And touching the side of his nose,
He gave a quick nod and up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh and to his deer gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a missile;
But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.
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